Duncans Thoughts

Who am I? A simple question, with lost of different answers. let me try to describe myself as you will mostly see in my blog.

Physically
I am a man, born in 1974. I live in the Netherlands. First the bad news, I think. I am overweight. *Smirks* who am I kidding. Obese is the only right word, sadly. My hairline is declining like snow on the North Pole, but that I find less problem full. I have glasses. I don’t like this. But laser surgery or contacts don’t are sadly not an alternative. So sorry ladies, I am not physical too attractive, but if I can trust my friends, make up for it in other ways.

Psychologically
I have had some mental trouble in the past. The ones that influenced me the most were an identity crisis, a serve dysthimia and an avoidant personality ‘disorder’. Another part is that I got stuck in time. Not physically, or mentally, but emotional (I am not autistic though). And although things are going way better with me now, I have those days of fall back. But usually, the way is up.

Mentally
I am intelligent. And I also know how to use it. I am very open minded, and have a general “Live and let Live” attitude to things that are not particular my piece of cake. I have a liking for philosophy, psychology, and the exact sciences (except mathematics). I have humour, but mostly in the form of a quick wit, and on the spot improvisations. Fun loving, and caring also seem to describe me, according to my friends.

Religious
I have no specific religion. And I don’t want to have one. Neither am I particular atheistic. I think every religion have some good things to share, and I shop around to see what I can agree with. With in religion, I think, the journey, your behaviour towards others, and your self reflection are more important as questions like “Is there a god?” The closest label to my ideas about religion is agnosticism or http://www.uua.org/, except I don’t like the idea of organised religion in any way. I think to much harm has done by organised religions and morality groups.

Sexuality
I like women and am strictly straight. Some of my best friends are gay, but I am not attracted to them at all. Otherwise, I am open to experimentation, especially in the BDSM direction. I am not particular dominant, nor submissive, but I can play the role of both. I am as they call a Switch. As for relationships. I am single, and looking. But then it seems you only seem to find your soul mate when you are not actively looking.

Work Situation
At the moment, we write April 25, 2007. I have always worked in Computers, as system and network manager. After my last employer broke down, I took a shot at starting my own business. Bad idea. I am a good computer and network person, but bad at sales, book keeping, marketing ect. The stress I got out of it, speeded up the mental problems I mentioned above, until end 2005 I broke down. end 2006, at the end of 2007, I stopped my company, and am unemployed, but looking for work since.

Other things.
I am living at my parents place at the moment. I came back to them when I started my own company, in order to save money. But it also has contributed to my mental problem. Lets say my vision about certain things is not very compatible with theirs.

On a lighter and brighter note, something about my hobbies.

• Computers.
  It was my work, but also a hobby. I guess I am a nerd in that way. I don’t play many games, but that is more because I know how to entertain me with other computer stuff then not liking it. web design, helping others with computer problems, working with my digital photo’s, blogging and being on Second Life are the main activities I do on my computer
• Photography.
  Yes, I love to go out and take pictures. I usually chose nature as subject of my pictures. Driving to a place away from people, and observing nature’s dance.
• Music.
  No. I am a bad player, but I like to listen to them. Anything from soothing dreamily Celtic songs to rocking Symphonic metal. I love it when Rock mixes with traditioanl or classical music. I am less of a fan of Rap, RB&B, and Dance. Clannad, Enya, Pink Floyd, Savatage, Porcupine Tree, Dream Theater, but also Rolling Stones, Queen and The Who
• Blogging.
  Strangely, a year ago, if you asked me, I would tell you I hate blogging, much has changed. I see it as a way to help me to order things, give my ideas and knowledge to the world, and to express my feelings. I like to blog now
• Second Life.
  Second Life is a virtual world on the internet, Where you kind of can start over your life. You can find me as Duncan Rust in this Metaverse. No, I don’t regard Second Life as a game, but rather as a modern way of meeting friends from all over the world.