Duncans Thoughts

Depersonalization disorder Has rather been a tool for me then an actually burden. Depersonalization makes it easier to talk about yourself, because, as the name implies, you no longer see yourself as.. well yourself.

For me, I depersonalized so i could talk about subjects that otherwise i would be too emotional or scared about.

When i depersonalize, I see my self from an angel above, much like you can see your avatar in second life (or some computer games) Mind you, I already had this view before I ever had seen such a technique on a computer. As how i exactly see myself: if you know photoshop, or another painting program able to work with layers: I do see through my normal view (just like you would see me, but there is an added transparency layer with this  Second life view on top of it (set to  70% transparency. Although the real % is a guess.. it is just to give you an idea)

I see myself as a third person, quite literally… I also hear myself as a third person. Other senses (touch, smell, taste) are unaffected, and hardly accessible during my depersonalization. Although touch still can be used by other parties to bring me back to myself, if done properly. I am able to bring myself back out of depersonalization. I don’t particularly like or dislike depersonalization on its own, it is just that the usual circumstances that make me use it are emotionally scary and tiresome.