Duncans Thoughts

This is maybe the most difficult ‘disorder’ to write about. Mainly as the uneducated quickly will think about hospitalization, for having this feature. Yes, I call it rather a feature, as i think it has helped me more then it has done bad things for me.

Dissociative Identity Disorder has been called “Multiple personality disorder’ In the past.. but most people havign this feature did not like that name. Still. i also think that Dissociative Identity Disorder, or DID for short, is to general.

I tend to believe there is a big difference of persons who are aware and accepting the fact they have one single self (like i do) and those who are convinced their body holds multiple souls.

It is often believed that DID is caused by early abuse. Either sexual, physical, mental or emotional abuse or neglec. However, it is possible to have did without abuse. Still i do think most of the persons whit DID have had some for of abuse or neglect.

I have chosen not longer to put the blame of my DID to my parents, or others, nor i blame myself for it. This step had been an important one to get at piece with it. You will have to respect it.

For me the number of personalities change over the years. At the moment i have 2 strong personalities, and a few lesser ones. The most important personality is Duncan Rust. yes, i named my blog after him. His name has changed a lot over the last few years. But since Duncan Rust was the name of my avatar in Second life, we adopted this name.

The other personality is the one who is Bran McCaw in second life. But due to things that have been happening on Second Life, he is not much in this world. And no, this has nothing to do with the bash down of sexual ageplay by Linden Labs, but more with people who could not understand he was not sexual and could not take “No” for an answer.

My inner persons helped me a lot with taking a journey into my mind. to help me understand, who i was, and why i am whatever it is what I am. Partly they are a way of regression. partly they are an expression of the delay of my emotional age.

As I said, i clearly have the feeling that, inside of all these personalities, I am one self. One meta personality that encloses all others. for those of you who wonder. I do feel however that the one i am in real life, the one people see as ‘me’ is not my meta self, just another personality, that is trained to take care of the world outside

No w a days, my personalities are quite manageable, and i am able to put the right one in control. (does not mean i always like it tho) . still they personalities are clearly there, and as long as they are useful (witch they are, very much so) I am glad they make my life less boring.