When the forecast for a loved one, is one of only depression, pain and digression, the kiss off death is not a sad one but one of relieve, acceptance, and embracement.
Yesterday evening we had a wake for mom. She looked better in the coffin then she had for the last 2 weeks, but i guess that is quite usual, although, she also had that strange unrealistic glance over her, that i have seen before at wakes. Only a hand full attended, and I took some pictures of her. It was an intimate, but – under circumstances – quite a nice gathering of some friends and family.
Today I was a bit late for the pre-gathering at the funeral home, but i had a good enough reason (see next entry) but I was able to come. After this gathering was done, and the coffin was closed, we headed to the crematorium, where the services would be hold.
Since both dad and mom did not believe, it was a nice Deity neutral service, except for 1 or 2 lost Christianity themed candles somewhere. A lot of people from our village were gathered, all close friends and family. Ex coworkers of dad. Several people I did not expect came. there were even a few people I was very surprised yet thank full to see:
- The bosses of my new work showed the respect
- An old neighbour of a friend showed up. She is special for me as she has helped to get me to psychological health care.
- My moms brother, who suffers form Korsakoff’s syndrome.
The service was mostly music. Only a friend of my parents, my dad and my brother spoke. I have been thinking of speaking myself, but in honesty, I had no need to speak. And i refuse to speech just because it might seem to be a social obligation. The music that was played:
- Brahms – Hungarian Dance 4 (mom’s piece)
- Celine Dion – Power Of Love (Dad’s Piece)
- Metallica – Nothing Else Matters (Brother’s Piece)
- Clannad – Na Laethe Bhí (my piece)
- John Elton – Circle Of Life (Decided together)
Afterwards, people who wanted too could lay a white/green or a red rose on moms coffin. my father, brother and me put down the last ones. When they left the hall, the were given a cd with music that made an impression on my mom, a cd to remember her by Then there was coffee with made sandwiches. Not the usual stale ones, but freshly made with high quality goods, like mom would have wanted.
afterwards, we went to a littel restaurant we hired. Several people were invited, especially the close ones, and the ones that traveled from afar, to join us in a reception were some novell cuisine dished were served, and people could talk in a more relaxed environment.
I think, and my brother agrees with it, that this was a good goodbye to mom. It was as she would have liked. so we are at peace with the whole thing.
All wiht all the day was good